Friday, April 22, 2011

Kate: Hebejebes

Wet paper gives me the hebejebes.  Every single kind of wet paper: magazine pages, printer paper, newspaper, cardstock, post its, construction paper, tissue paper and every other kind of paper you can think of.  I hate the way that it looks and the way that it feels and just generally think that it's completely gross and seriously icky.  Just the mention of a wet piece of paper and I shutter.  Like my sister when someone talks about Robitussin cough syrup. (Danielle does not feel this way about Robitussin.) I don't even like wet paper after it's dried, because that crinkliness just forces me to think about the fact that it was once wet.
My kryptonite.  Just googling this image hurt.
This has been true ever since I was a kid.  I remember in elementary school teachers used to give us single sheets of paper (class newsletters, permission slips, bad kid notes, etc.) to bring home to our parents and the ice pack in my lunch box used to get them wet sometimes.  Ugh.  I literally gag just thinking about having to pull a wet piece of paper out of my backpack.

There are lots of reason to hate working in the summer, but one of my big ones is that during the summer the water bottle that I keep on my desk gets condensation on it and sometimes gets the papers on my desk wet.  And then I have to throw them out.  For real.

I lovelovelove the Metro, the free newspaper that's handed out on the T, because I have a really long commute and it keeps be up to date on the news, celebrity gossip, Boston sports and my horoscope.  It's one of the small joys of spending over an hour on the T each day.  But, on rainy days, sometimes I can't get the Metro because if it gets rain on it not only will I not be able to read it, it will actually ruin my morning.  Wet newspaper is by far the worst kind of wet paper.

This is the kind of thing that makes me believe in reincarnation.  Like, something must have happened to me in a past life that involved wet paper, right?  Perhaps I was buried alive in a pile of wet paper, or got some sort of weird wet paper paper cut... It really makes you think.

xo kate


  1. So the environmentally friendly, biodegradeable paper straws used at Hanks Oyster Bar brunch are out?

  2. you know once they get moist i can't deal.