Meeting Mister DelVecchio

Big news: in about two weeks, I will be in the same club, at the same time, as a one, Mr. DJ Pauly D.

Yeahh, buddy!

Now I need your advice:  other than being fresh to death, how do I get Mr. Del Vecchio's attention?

Killer dance moves?  Mad fist pumping?  Witty sayings?  A joke?  Save him from a grenade?

Should I wink?

Hmmm.  Your input is needed.

It's like when I found out Emily and Daniel from Revenge were dating.

Oh, don't worry Gisele, I still hate you.

I kind of love that Kevin Youkilis is marrying Tom Brady's sister.  It like that delighted feeling you get when two actors from the same TV show or movie make it official in real life.  Generally it's difficult for me to get behind couples who have wildly unbalanced levels of attractiveness (this is just one of the many problems I have with the Rachel McAdams and Michael Sheen pairing) but there's something so appealing about Youk.  I guess it's sort of like my oldest sister's weird attraction to Tom Petty -- you know he's ugly, but you just can't seem to shake it.  Also, Julie Brady is a teacher!  I'm a teacher!  I love teachers!  (Have you ever noticed how when writers are trying to endear you to teachers they refer to them as schoolteachers? I'm going to start introducing myself as a schoolteacher in order to come off as just slightly more precious.) Moreover, reading all these articles about what incredibly nice and humble people the Brady's are is just beginning to melt my icy heart toward Tom.

Oh, and by the way, I totally don't watch Revenge. That stuff is trash.  (Except that I totally do, and it's e-mazing.  You should watch too.)

xo kate

Everyday, it will rain...rain rain.

Gorgeous. Tragic. Wet. Italian. Watch it.

GTL Thursday: Somebody please tell him who the eff I is.

Why they think you're single. And why they are probably wrong.

It's the most annoying question and they just can't help asking you.  
It's the question that has no good answer.  
It's the question that when people stop asking it, makes you feel even worse.  

Why are you single?  ~Liz Tuccillo

If you are like me (single and nearing 30) then by some standards, you are living an "alternative" lifestyle.  And I'm sure you've noticed that your nearest and dearest are not only perplexed by your singledom (You are soooo fun! Why hasn't someone snatched you up?), but they also have an opinion about it (Might you be tooo funny on dates? Hmm?), as well as advice on how to change it (You should talk less and whatever you do, don't tell any funny stories!)  Gotcha.  Thanks.  I'll just plan to sit there and imitate a cabbage.

Maybe it is your mum who just can't lock up her opinions on your dating life...or lack thereof.  Or perhaps it is your sister who thinks she knows exactly why you are such a loser-in-love.  Your grandmother might have a few choice words about "men today"  and "what they are really after..."  Or maybe the Starbucks barrista thinks you look lonely in the morning. Or the pizza delivery man. Your manicurist.  The doorman.  You get the idea.

The point is, you probably know someone who at one point or another, has inserted themselves into a conversation about your romantic shortcomings.  And unfortunately, some are more tactful than others.

Now, if you have been blessed by Cupid himself, and in effect have never needed such tidbits of amorous advice, have no fear. I've collected the top soul-mating "suggestions" that I have heard from friends and family...with my two cents wrapped in, of course.  Some are admittedly helpful and accurate, while others are so nonsensical they might as well be written in parseltongue.

In essence, this post is a de-bunking of the dating ratings that fly around and often torture us. So here we go...in no particular order: Why they think you are single, and why they are probably wrong.

You are too intimidating.
What about us ladies is intimidating?  Take me for example.  I'm 5 foot 5 inches tall.  My nails are pink. I don't bite. I can't kill a spider without experiencing minor heart palpitations. I need help hanging pictures and lifting heavy objects.  I only walk around the city at night armed with the rape whistle my Dad gave me.

Puss n' Boots, aliens, the economy, fascism, the omnipresence of Ryan Seacrest, the near arrival of the Matrix--those are things that should scare you.  But me? Why should I intimidate you?  Because I have a college education?  A job?  A baller wolfpack?  Player, please. It is 2011.  Most of us have jobs and masters degrees and friends.

You are unique and awesome and wonderful and just haven't met someone worthy of you.
Awww...you're sweet.  Really and truly.  But honestly:  I am no special snowflake.  There are plenty of smart, fun, kind, attractive women out there.  I am merely one of the masses.

You don't give guys a chance.
Tell me, wise people.  How many chances is appropriate?  How many times should we go out with someone when we already know, in our heart of hearts, that there is nothing there?  I have gone on 2, 3, even 6 dates with people that had zero appeal to me.

• One guy peed 4-6 times on every date; awkwardly, I went out with him 3 times. It remains unclear if he had a small bladder, IBS, a coke habit, a fear of germs, or a fear of me. 
• Another guy couldn't kiss a woman to save his life.  He raped my face every time he tried.  I put up with it for about 3 months.  And considered buying stock in Oil of Olay.
• This same dude refused to acknowledge we were dating.  After 3 months, I introduced him at my birthday party as a "friend of the romantic nature."  He reprimanded me, in front of my friends, and suggested that I refer to him instead as my "colleague".  But wait, because here is the kicker: we did not work together.  
• Another guy was a self declared manorexic.  We went out twice.  I went home hungry...twice...and friggin housed a bag of pop chips and a tub of Sabra hummus. 

How many dates is enough?  How many dates is fair?  How many dates is leading someone on?  How long until I've made my point?

You only like the ones you can't have.
This gem of advice, I actually buy.  Sometimes it does seem that we are only attracted to unavailable men.

And sometimes it seems that when we are interested in a fella, he doesn't want to give us the time of day.

And the fools we choose to ignore?  They. won't. stop. texting.

I have two theories about this:
a) Men might love unavailable, aloof women, almost as much as we girls love too-cool-for-school bad boys.

Consider this:  if you showed up at a man's house and presented him with a stuffed and preserved moose head, he would probably be confused and even repulsed by the gift.  However, if he went out into the woods himself, stealthily and cleverly hunted and shot the creature...he would be thrilled and proud to hang the ugly dead thing up in his man cave.


Lesson:  men like to hunt almost as much as we like to talk about our feelings. It is not an absolute need.  It should not be a driving force in your life. But it is there. And it is okay.

b) It only takes one time for the feeling to be mutual and requited and harmonious and right.  Until then, it is a bloody mess.

You aren't ready for love.
I didn't realize we had to be Siddhartha Gautama or a friggin Jedi in order to unlock the pearly gates of love.  Give me a break before I slice off your hand with my light saber.

You are gay. 
I don't know.  Are you?  I'm not. But sometimes I wish I were. Might add breadth to my wardrobe?  Double my shoe collection? But then I remember that many of the same constraints would still hold true.  And also I like boys.

There are no good men left.
This doesn't insult me.  But if you are a single man, it should insult you.

If you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any luck at all.
This is my mom's take on my love life.  And I'm pretty sure its accurate.

You are too picky.
"Picky" insinuates that we are selective.  Is that a bad thing?

Riddle me this: what is the opposite of being selective?  Settling?  Hmm.  Do you want me to settle?  Did you settle?  I sincerely hope you didn't.

People say life is too short, but I say life is too long.  It is too long to be tied to people who don't make you happy and bring out the best in you.  So just give me some time to find the right one, instead of settling down with the wrong one.

You are trying too hard.  When you least expect it, you'll find love.
Everyone says this.  And I might be on board.  But not because fate is a bitch or the cosmos are effing with us.

Rather, when are we not looking for love around each and every corner, we actually have time to genuinely enjoy life!  We enjoy our family, friends, pets, and hobbies.

We take golf lessons, and learn to sew and master the art of changing a flat tire.  We start businesses and keep journals and ask about our mothers' childhoods.  We judge JWoww's latest plastic surgery and we praise Lady Gaga's latest fashion stunt. We experiment with new meatloaf recipes, and re-read a tattered and worn favorite novel.

And when we're surrounded by all the awesomeness of our lives, we become the happiest, bestest, purest, chillest version of ourselves, and that my friend, not only attracts, but also cultivates relationships and romance and love--in all forms.

And it is in that vein that brings to mind my best piece of advice:  do more of what makes you happy.

So there you go.

Tell me:  what did I miss?  Where am I wrong?  Did any of that ranting actually make sense?  What is your one ultimate piece of love advice?

GTL Thursday: All the love I have

I've never been a huge fan of Jovanotti, but I had to share a recent video of his for this GTL Thursday.

First, the background: Jovanotti is an Italian singer-songwriter that mixes hip hop, rap, funk, classical and even at times, ska.

Yes, ska.

Sounds weird, right?  Right.

Allora, I have listened to his 2010 song, "Tutto l'amore che ho" a few times and let me tell you, it is pretty, pret-ty, pret-ty depressing.  Too depressing for me to translate here.  (Plus, that would take me forever and a year.)

In short, Jovanotti is completely bummed and totally bitter to be separated from his love.  He is willing to do just about ANYTHING to get her back...including paying with all the love he has.  It is very Meatloaf.  Very Jacob Black.  Very Heathcliff.  (Not the cartoon, but the tortured Bronte hero..)

While the song isn't exactly the fun we usually watch here on W&W, the video redeems it. When I watch Jovanotti's video, I see a lone wolf who has to fight bad guys, dodge bullets, escape bus chases, avoid explosions, jump through windows, and face...get this...another lone wolf.  So deep. 


In all honesty, I have no idea what it has to do with the song, but I think you're gonna love it. Especially all the car bombs that fire in the last 60 seconds.  It is an epic symphony of boom.

GTL Thursday: The 6000 Year Smush

Reposted from the Huffington Post 9/12/11

MANTUA - For 6,000 years, two young lovers have been locked in an eternal embrace, hidden from the eyes of the world. This past weekend, the “Lovers of Valdaro” -- named for the little village near Mantua, in Northern Italy, where they were first discovered -- were seen by the public for the first time.  The lovers are in fact two human skeletons, dating back to the Neolithic era, which were found in a necropolis in the nearby village of Valdaro in 2007, huddled close together, face to face, their arms and legs entwined. They were displayed this past weekend at the entrance of Mantua Archeological Museum, thanks to the effort of the association, “Lovers of Mantua,” which is seeking a permanent home for the ancient couple.

After the discovery, many thought that the couple had been killed. It would fit in well with the history of an Italian region famous for many tragic love stories. Mantua is the city where Romeo was exiled and was told that his Juliet was dead. The composer Giuseppe Verdi chose it as the location for his opera Rigoletto, another story of star-crossed love and death.

But subsequent research revealed that the skeletons did not have any signs of a violent death. They were a woman and a man, between 18 and 20 years old. Some have wondered if they died together, holding each other in a freezing night. Professor Silvia Bagnoli, the president of the association “Lovers in Mantua,” doesn’t exclude this possibility, but says that more likely the skeletons were laid out in that position after their deaths.

The mystery might never be solved. Still, many want to see the couple. The association “Lovers in Mantua” is campaigning for their right to have a room of their own. According to Bagnoli, 250,000 euros will be enough for an exhibition center, and another 200,000 euros could pay for a multimedia space to tell the world the mysterious story of these prehistoric lovers.

Not even at all.