"When people ask me if I like Vegas, I wish I could express to them the feeling I get when I step in the cab line, about it see you ladies. It's just... giddy." -LL

McCarran cab line.  Where giddy starts.

This past Easter weekend (I apparently start blog posts and never finish them -- but in honor of D's trip this weekend, I thought I'd give my take on the Paris of the Desert.  I just made that up.  No one calls Vegas that.) was my annual trip to Vegas with my girlfriends.  The title of this post is a text I got from my best friend while she was in the cab line at the airport waiting to come meet us at the hotel.  One of the things that I love about Vegas is that from the moment you get off the plane, the experience is larger than life.  Even the cab line is an event -- there are probably 200 people in it at any given time (many more if you're arrive between 9pm-11pm on a Friday night) and the energy is electric.  You know from that first moment that this is a place like nowhere else on earth.

We've been to Vegas at least once a year since we were 21 and, since we're all getting up there, that means we've had quite a few nights in Sin City.  Originally, we went just for the clubs -- Vegas has some of the best nightclubs ever; always packed, big dance floors, cool tables and amazing DJs. (Seriously, I use to fly to Vegas just to see Clinton Sparks -- who lived maybe ten minutes from me in Boston -- play at Body English, my favorite (now, sadly, defunked) club ever.  The loss of Body English should be a blog post on it's own, since it closed seemingly for no reason and Vanity has nothing on B.E. At any rate, that's a story for another time, since this post is already so tangental that I can barely follow it.)  The clubs were just the greatest scene with the funnest crowds. (Crowds with some of the best pick-up lines ever in the history of the world, like, "Well, going to clown college really chooses you." or "Do you know Pepto Bismol?  I'm actually the heir to the Pepto Bismol fortune.") We always met fun, funny people there, got drunk, danced and had a great time.  There is definitely a certain level of trashiness in any club, and especially in any club in Vegas (Vanity is taking trashy too far.) but the trashiness can be ignored because of the fun.  Also, Vegas has the most amazing bathroom attendants of anywhere I've ever been.  One night at Drai's, I saw a woman rip her dress, go into the bathroom and take off the dress, wait in the stall while the bathroom attendant sewed the dress, and then put it back on and go back to dancing.  For real, that is service.  At any rate, we loved the clubs.  Even though there's still a giant Body English-shaped hole in my heart, I still think they are really fun.

It really is all that.

This past trip we spent time at the Palms clubs, Moon and Ghost Bar, which are worth visiting for the view alone.  You're like 45 stories up, dancing outdoors on this huge patio, with the Vegas lights all around you.  It's really surreal.  Making all the crazier, at Ghost Bar, the floor of the balcony is clear, so you're also watching cars whiz by on the street below you.  Unbelievable.

So, in short, the clubs are awesome.  As we've gotten older though, we've embrace some of Vegas' other attractions.  This past trip, for example, we saw Zumanity, the Cirque du Soleil show that borders on actual porn, but is still completely amazing, despite it's weirdly racist undertones.  Not only was it a great show, but it struck up a lively dinner conversation about which countries the Cirque du Soleil performers were B-list gymnasts in.  It's nice to have something to talk about over dinner.

Favorite people, favorite place. 

In another totally adult move -- and this is a highlight -- I learned to play craps.  It's legitimately the most fun gambling game I've played, and I really like to gamble.  Craps is the quintessential Vegas game, because it's all about strangers coming together to have fun.  In my first game, I won like a hundred bucks, had an entire crowd of strangers chanting "Eight for Kate! Eight for Kate!" and received a marriage proposal.  For someone who likes attention as much as I do, it was pretty much the highlight of my life.

To sum up, I love to dance, drink, gamble and watch acrobats perform well-chorographed soft-core porn.  Like in life, the most important part about Vegas is the people you share it with, and I'm lucky to get to go to heaven in the Mojave (I made up that name too.) with some of the smartest, funniest, wildest girls I know.  Ladies, I can't wait til next year.   For now, I'm so, so sad that I won't get to be with you, D, as you lose your Vegas virginity.  But I hope you know that I'm with you in spirit.  Enjoy the giddy, you deserve it.

xo kate

F-Institute.

Because it caused me to miss this.


Background information: My annual Vegas trip was postponed from March to July when we decided to go to Austin for SXSW in March, which was awesome.  Unfortunately, I decided to be a career changer (Why did I do that again?) and am now stuck in the cold hell that is Temple University (Seriously, my dorm room -- you read that right -- is like 55 degrees.) and therefore couldn't make the trip.  I was pretty upset about it to begin with -- I take my trips to Vegas seriously.  But I was extra upset when I realized that my boy, Boston's own Clinton Sparks, dropped through the friggin' roof at Moon to start his set.

Damn the man.  Get me to Vegas.

xo kate

GTL Thursday Guest-post: The Land of Freedom and Space

Dear Wildcats,

As you know, it is quite possible (although not probable) that DJ Pauly D is my soulmate.  Our relationship will mean that in addition to adopting a stricter GTL routine, I will also have to spend a great deal of time in Vegas--where he regularly spins.   As such, I have asked my friend and current Vegas resident, Hester, to give us the 411 on the land of freedom and space.  And so without further ado...

xoxo
Dfest

I was born and raised in Seattle, but have called Boston home for the past ten years of my life. I went to college, graduate school, found employment, made friends, ate well, adopted Boston sports teams, and built a good life in what I had once considered a god-forsaken land. Despite the freezing winters and unbearably humid summers, I had really grown to like the place.

Until, one day, my professional poker playing boyfriend proposed, and I was transplanted to this strange little part of the countrythat we call Vegas, baby. The lovely Dfest asked that I give the inside scoop on Vegas to the Wolfpack, so here goes nothing...


Las Vegas, Nevada: The land of tits and tips, where Holly Madison and Jayde Nicoleare in a fake boob fight, and where Kourtney Kardashian’s douchey baby daddy tried to stuff dollar bills down a waiter’s throat.

Vegas was built in the desert, transforming the land into an adult sandbox: Hordes of indulgent tourists pouring in, waddling up and down the strip with their drinks, standing in line for hours to engorge themselves at the buffets, ogling the barely-dressed gals that surround them everywhere.

All of the fresh produce in Vegas is brought via Fed-Ex jet DAILY, and the average electricity consumption is 2-3x that of the average citizen with nary a solar panel in sight. Vegas place is a sustainability nightmare and would make Al Gore very sad.


The locals are made of silicone and testosterone. It’s kind of like living amongst the cast of the Jersey Shore.The girls have figures like J-Woww and wear Juicy Couture sweats. The guys are total juiceheads with sleeves of tattoos, gelled hair, large monster trucks. Snookie would die.

Also, may I remind everyone that Sharron Angle almost won Harry Reid’s senate seat. Who the f#$% are these people?!?

Needless to say, I’m having a little trouble fitting in.

Yet I kind of like it out here. I’ve always had loyalties to the west coast. Despite being Asian, I have an obsessive need for space and freedom, which Vegas offers in spades.

Vegas = Royal Flush of Freedom and Space

The cost of living is also incredibly low, and the juiceheads and J-Wowws are actually pretty chill.

Also, despite the fact that the food is Fed-Exed in, the dining is amazing. All of the top chefs have restaurants here: Hubert Keller, Guy Savoy (his only restaurant in America!), Thomas Keillor, Tom Collicchio, Bobby Flay, THE Masa, Jean-Georges, and the list goes on. There are also tons of incredible cheap eats, like In-N-Outs, taco trucks, Hawaiian foodgalore.

The food, coupled with the fact that I have to drive, no twalk, everywhere, is making me fat and fatter. Just in time for my upcoming nuptials! Thankfully, my fiance and I joined a gym, where the gym members are all J-Wowws and Ronnies, so we are extra motivated to get movin’ and look good!
(We seriously joined the gym because everyone was super hot and fit.)

We’ll see how this all pans out...

In the meantime, I leave you with some Top 5 Vegas lists to guide you during your next visit to Sin City.

Top 5 Vegas Buffets
Aria
Wynn
Cosmopolitan
Bellagio
Countless all-you-can-eat sushi and bbq joints offstrip.

Top 5 Tourist Types to Avoid
1.      Middle-aged people at the club. No one wants to see old people grinding up on each other at a club. It’s not even tolerable when hot young people do it. The old people are worse because they’re so happy about being out and doing something cool and young that they don’t know how to handle themselves. They start arthymically flailing their limbs about and hitting you in the face. Actually, who are the stupid bouncers letting these old people in the club in the firstplace. Go to places like Marquee, Haze, XS, where you won’t be subjected to this nightmare.
2.      Old men with their trophy 20-something girlfriends. They’re everywhere and it’s sooooogross to see in person. Honestly, women, have you no shame? How can you sit there with your boobs hanging out and your nimble limbs draped over a wrinkly,old farty sack, laughing at his corny old people jokes. Give me a break.
3.      Drunk young people slobbering, taking their clothes off, falling down all over theplace, while yelling. These people act like they’ve never had alcohol before.Ugh.
4.      European tourists. Ok, I love Europe and I love European culture, but Europeans seem to have no concept of personal space. They come from these small confined lands where they live on top of each other. Then they fly on an airplane to the wild west frontier where there is lots and lots of land, and they still act like they’re in a box. Hello, people! We’re in America now! Don’t nip at my heels when you’re walking behind me. Don’t smoke in the pokerroom. Don’t blow said cigarette smoke in my face when you’re trying to talk tome. Don’t run into me on the wide spacious street. There’s plenty of space!! This is America!!Land of Freedom and Space!!! Ok, I’ll stop now....

Top 5 Must Dos in Vegas
1.       Get free drinks while playing the penny slots.
2.       Get free drinks while playing craps at a really crowded table. It has to be crowded,otherwise it’s not fun.
3.       Watch one of the Cirque du Soleils - O, Mystere, Love. Ka is aiight; Elvis isapparently atrocious.
4.       Watch one of the divas, Celine or Bette or Elton or Garth Brooks, live in concert.
5.       Eat at one of the buffets mentioned above.