I've been a bridesmaid 8 times. Eight. No big deal. I have many dresses in many different colors of the rainbow. Some long. Some chiffon. David's Bridal. Vera Wang. People joke that I am on my way to the magic 27 ala Katherine Heigl (whose last name I always misprounce--sorry Izzy).
The truth is, I don't mind at all. Quite the contrary. I love being a bridesmaid. I'm always VIP at weddings. I love giving toasts. I don't mind having to hold up a dress while my friend pees. I'm proud that I know how to bustle a dress in 60 seconds or less.
I also know that I want to get married someday. And have someone awkwardly hold my dress while I break the seal. And I want my sister to nervously make a speech about the time that I slapped her in Italy or the time she stole my favorite pillow person. I want to dance with my mom as Toto Cutugno sings Le mamme and with dad as Laura Brannigan belts Gloria. I want to twist again. I want a wedding cake frosting moustache. I want to be in love.
I want all of it. My wedding day just hasn't arrived yet. And most days, that's okay with me.
Anyway, I saw this article on the Huffington Post and it got me thinking about how honest I am with myself about why I'm not settled down. According to the author, Tracy Macmillan, I'm not married because, among other things, I'm a bitch and shallow and a liar and I don't love myself.
Hmmm. I always thought it was because Zac Effron is taken, and I have standards. But Tracy is suggesting I need to be more introspective.
I know what my opinion is, but I'm more interested in yours.
Read this and tell me what you think.
You're also vain and selfish. I called LB about how sad this article was this week. No me gusta.
ReplyDeleteOh, Katie. You know that the way to my heart is through a blog shout out. Danielle, I thought about you, Lisa, and the Brothers when I drove past the zoo today!
ReplyDeleteWow that is an incendiary article now isn't it? I definitely don't agree, although I will agree that I'm a bitch. :) I'd rather not listen to a laundry list of reasons I'm unmarried, and not from a 3rd time divorcee either. Nothing is that cut and dry, especially not the issue {institution} of marriage. I think the author was going for shock value, and with 1600 comments, I think she got it.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on enjoying being a bridesmaid Danielle! Except its tendency to leave me completely broke. I will not however, inflict a dress on my bridesmaids.
This article makes it incredibly hard to know where to even begin, when it contains a line like:
ReplyDelete"Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape."
I have no words for that...
Nonetheless, as entertaining as I find self-help books and articles to be, at the end of the day nobody can answer a question so broad and individual-specific with a little list. Me personally - If I was to believe that I had to reach a certain goal by a certain age (i.e., having a boyfriend, children, home-owning, etc), well... I have probably haven't reached any of them by the standard age and probably never will. There's no script to life. Not that I'm not OK with a little honest, good soul-searching, but not of this article's teachings.
My thoughts: always try and be happy with your decisions and with yourself, flaws and all. And ignore advice constructed into bitchy bullet points.
Great post - now to read the response piece on cnn: http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/02/22/why.not.married/index.html?hpt=C2
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and dislike this Tracy McMillan. For starters though, no one should take advice on marriage from someone who has been divorced 3 times…yeah she knows how to get married, but clearly isn’t good at it. It makes me sad that Tracy writes for Mad Men because that show is amazing. Also, she looks like a psycho….female afros are not cute. However, this is cute and much better advice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rbMHLDY1pA&feature=player_embedded
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