Ain't No Thang but a Chicken Wing

Sometimes, I feel bad for Spencer Pratt. His 15 minutes started when he was just a young douchebag dating Heidi. Had he not fell in love with tabloid fame, he probably would have continued his life of douchebaggery and ended up with a severe case of scabies.

Instead, he married the ever vapid Heidi and utterly lost his mind and started wearing crazy crystal rock jewelry.

And now he's dropping a record. Well, sorta...

I'm not really sure I have the words to explain my thoughts and feelings surrounding the leak of Spencer Pratt's rap song for KFC, "Ain't No Thang, but a Chicken Wing."

I think the only way to describe my reaction is to steal a word from Will Ferrell and SNL and say that Mr. Pratt's musical stylings are nothing short of....pause for dramatic effect...scrumtrelescent.

You were expecting me to describe the track with words like horrid, gross, sinful, vomititous. On the contrary, I think its quite scrumtrelescent, for the following reasons:

a. Let's be honest, Pratt had nothing to do with the song. He didn't compose the "music", he didn't write the lyrics, and thats probably not even him singing.

b. KFC might be gross, but fried chicken is delicious

c. The song is oldly catchy. Kinda like Kesha songs.

d. The phrase "aint nothing but a chicken wing" is a fantastic saying that should be integrated in my--nay--all of our vernacular from here on out, like this:

Sammy: Ron is friends with J.Woww, so I'm going home.
Vinnie: Sammy, your ego is not God.
Pauly: Vinny's right. Don't blow this out of proportion. Ain't no thang but a chicken wing.

See what I'm saying?

My only problem with this incredibly transparent ploy for attention is that Pratt likens himself to Hov (a gold level member of this wolfpack). Spence says, "I've always known that I secretly am the hottest rapper in the game," he says. "I'm the white Jay-Z in the game."

The only words to describe such a comparison is sacrilegious and disrespectful.

Enjoy the song here:

http://www.theboombox.com/2011/01/26/spencer-pratt-rap-song-for-kfc-leaks/

Thoughts?