Zombie in a Penguin Suit

A long LOST friend of mine, Chris Russell, made this genius short film...perfect for a chilly Halloween night in Boston.

I don't get it.

I don't like it. Where's the hot shower-to-ship-to-diamonds-to-horse guy?

These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it. ~ Charles Barkley

These are my new shoes.

Or rather, shoe.

I got it at the Winchester Hospital ER. 

And it only cost me a $40 co-pay. Don't you just love a bargain?

It came with a sweet sprained ankle too.

Lame?  Verrrry.

But the story has an upside. In addition to the sexy shoe that I get to rock all week, I was reminded why my dad Vincent is the best dad in the world.

As my ankle starting swelling to a size that seemed larger than the Situation's ego, I called my dad, swore a lot, and begged him to help me. Twenty-five minutes later, we were en route to the hospital.  Through a sprinking of tears and a deluge of f-bombs...

Dad: What the hell happened?

Me: It happened so fast...I don't even know. What I do know is that my ankle hurts and I am humiliated. Mortified. I fell in front of a group of colleagues. And I'm wearing this dumb skirt. Why did I wear a skirt today, Dad? Shit. I hope no one saw anything...do you think anyone saw anything? 

Dad: Well I don't know about that, but... I think you look very pretty today.

How much do you love this man?

How much do you love Charles Barkley?  Trrble.

Happy Birthday America!

Shit, Bianca, I'm shooting a nose
spray ad tomorrow!

I think it's ironically unfortunate that earlier on this Fourth of July, the day we celebrate as America's birthday (although we wildcats know it's not really, because we've read Wikipedia's Common Misconceptions page) former teen actor, Andrew Keegan and "star" of 90's blockbuster Independence Day (he played Older Boy) was tasered by police after a noise complaint about his block party.

Mr. Keegan was a part of nearly everything that was great about the television and film industry in the late nineties, including Party of Five, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, 10 Things I Hate About You, O, Boy Meets World, Moesha, Step by Step, Full House, Baywatch, Freaky Friday and Camp Nowhere.  We wish him all the best and hope for a speedy recovery.

And, in his honor, we hope you'll enjoy this throwback.


xo kate

Dfest: I've fallen and I can't get up.

I have dislocated my knee seven times. Yep. Seven.

The first time it happened I was a junior in high school. Hair straighteners had not yet reached Stoneham and I was suffering from chronic frizzy hair. This is relevant. I promise.

That fateful day of my dislocation I tried citre shine for the first time. I took a shower, spritzed my whole head, and carefully and slowly blew out my hair. The result was miraculous. My hair was shiny and bouncy and awesome. So bouncy in fact that I couldn't help but jump up and down repeatedly, demonstrating to my sister how amazing my new do was.


Up and down and up down on the recently cleaned hardware floors. And that is when it happened.

I went down. And the knee went out. And the pain shot through my body. And I started screaming.

I went to physical therapy after that, but the knee was never the same.

The last time I dislocated my knee was in September of 2005. It was the first week at my new job. I was getting on the orange line T at Oak Grove and the bell rang and someone came running in behind me and knocked me down. I spilled my coffee, ripped my sweater, and you guessed it, dislocated my knee.

I lay splayed out on the floor of the MBTA car. One leg hanging out by the door. The doors trying to close, but hitting my ankle instead.


Some kind soul hit the emergency button and a female T worker came to my aid.

First, she thoughtfully asked me if I tripped "in my little shoes".

I was wearing flip flops. So I immediately took issue with her tone and insinuation that I was a dumb girl commuting with inappropriate shoes. My flip flops were exceedingly comfortable and practical.

I managed to huff out, "No I did not trip, somebody pushed me."

Of course, all of the bystanders in car avoided eye contact. No one owed up to it. Bastards.

She then asked me if I wanted to get off and call an ambulance.

I said no, I just need your help popping the knee back into place. Because of some stupid, but probably smart, liability issues, the T woman told me she wasn't allowed to touch me. So I popped it back in myself. Took a seat. And hobbled off to work.

Lesson: beware citre shine and Oak Grove.

Tuesday Loseday: Love at first sight

Typically, on Tuesday Loseday, we are laughing WITH the subjects of the video. This time, however, it feels a little different.

These have always brought me luck

I always loved this commercial when I was younger.



Rest in peace, Miss Taylor.

xoxo

Bad news, Good news



I will wear an LC braid in your
honor this week, Ms. Conrad

I have some really bad news. 

I read last night in Us Weekly that MTV has pulled the plug on Lauren Conrad's new reality series.  Why do the worst things always happen to me?

Also, Lady Gaga has announced that her upcoming perfume is going to smell like "blood and semen."

Okay, so this was really more of a bad news, bad news situation, but that makes for a pretty depressing blog title.

xo kate